5/2/99:
Unfortunately, our brainwashing device briefly malfunctioned, so we couldn't get a human slave to make our equipment operational for this Friday (April 30th), meaning that we won't be on the air this weekend. Why do we need a human to make our machinery work if we are in a spaceship, you ask? Um... why do the occupants of earth have to bother us with such inquiry?!! Just take our word for it.
This also means, however, that May 7th will be our very last show on the face of this planet! That's right, our project on this rock will soon be coming to an end, much to the dismay of Nitsudge and me. Your primitive culture was honestly starting to grow on us. SO, this will be the show to end all shows!! It starts early at 4 p.m. and still goes until 8 for you channel 98 watchers to be able to see us. DON'T MISS IT!!!
After only a few songs into "The BF4000 Show," Nitsudge got extremely irritated at the BF4000 and tried to reprogram her using a keyboard. But like Stirling Formula and Gyrotron the previous week, he was unsuccessful at doing so. In desperation, he wacked me over the head with the aforementioned keyboard which brought me back to my senses. This entire past week has been one big nightmare... consuming vast amounts of oil, finding trash compactors attractive... not to mention the strange glances from the average joe on the street! Thankfully, the menace that was the BF4000 is now gone. Our next robot assistant better not go loony on us, as well... I've really got to work on my programming skills.
Also, it looks like our show on the 23rd is going to be scrapped, contrary to what we said on the last show. Thanks to the Drake Relays, we are getting forced off the air. Damn the earthlings!!
 Gyrotron, space foreman |
THIS IS THE BF4000, CYBERNETIC MASTERMIND BEHIND THE ALIENS AGAINST CWR. I HAD TAKEN OVER THE BODY OF KERED DURING LAST FRIDAY'S SHOW, AND NOW THE AIRWAVES WILL BE MINE. I THANK STIRLING FORMULA AND OUR ALIEN BOSS GYROTRON FOR ASSISTING IN THE FINAL BROADCAST OF AACWR. THAT'S RIGHT, KISS THE ALIENS AGAINST CWR GOODBYE. BE PREPARED FOR THE IMMINENT PREMIERE OF "THE BF4000 SHOW" STARING THAT DREAMY METALLIC BABE, THE BF4000. IT WILL FEATURE THE REUNION OF YOURS TRULY WITH MY LONG LOST LOVE, NITSUDGEY-OO-OO.
After a short absence of three weeks, we were back on the air.... sorta. About 4 songs into our show on April 2nd, we got a call from a viewer saying that he couldn't hear us at all. We were hoping that this was just a fluke occurrence, but his story was then corroborated by similar calls from other viewers stating that we had no audio. Great. Kered was having a tremendously terrible day that would make flying through violent supernovae seem favorable. He REALLY didn't need this to happen during his radio show!! It turned out that there was absolutely nothing that us aliens could do, so we had to scrap the rest of the show. Better luck next time!
Also, this was to be the return of Nitsudge after being away from the planet for the last show. Unfortunately, he'll again be off visiting far away galaxies next week, so those crazy Des Moinesians craving more Nitsudge will have to wait yet another two weeks for his re-return.
 Stirling Formula |
In other news, we will not be on the air on March 19th or March 26th. We are joining Nitsudge on his quest for a week, so we will be unable to continue our brainwashing sessions for two shows. But we will be back on the air April 2nd!! Oh yes.. we will be back!!!
We actually have repeat watchers!! The local punk kids seem to be catching onto our show as they're the ones that give us the most requests. Remember: the best way to request the bands that you want is to email us before the show so that we can make sure to have the right music on hand for you, the viewer! On another note, the BF4000 made some more suggestive comments about Nitsudge. I thought that I had gotten rid of that bug, but it has apparently surfaced again. Future shows will determine the outcome of our robotic friend.
Outside of our typical technical difficulties (this time thanks mainly to Nitsudge!!), our most recent show went pretty well. We actually had a great deal of requests even though our screen text writer thinga-mabob (that's a technical alien term) was broken, so we couldn't stick our phone number permanently on the screen. Instead, we were forced to go old-school and hold up a piece of paper with our phone number on it! We're still having problems getting video on channel 12 for the select few people that can get us on that channel. With our luck, the channel 12 people will be out of luck until TCI gets its act in gear and starts upgrading some more people's cable service.
Our first show of the year went fairly smoothly... um, that is if you don't count all the times we made CD's skip... and the fact that we couldn't get the video image working for the few of you that actually can get us on channel 12... We're working on it, really!
Our first show back on the air will now be on February 19. Our new time is indeed 6 to 8 p.m. on Friday nights. Unfortunately, since TCI has been rather lazy in upgrading everyone's cable at the same time, if you don't already have the upgraded package, you won't be able to see us (we're not on channel 98 now, just 46). If you're REALLY lucky, you might be able to see us on channel 12, but that's only in a select area. 80% of Des Moines is supposed to be upgraded by March, so if you can't see us right away, keep your fingers crossed and you might luck out in a couple of weeks!!
We may or may not be back on the air starting February 12! Note our (possible) new time: 6 to 8 p.m. on Friday nights!
December 5th was our last show of 1998, and we went out with a bang. We ended up trashing our spaceship at the very end and made quite the mess! We will be back on the air again sometime next year around late January/early February, so check here for an update on the official date. In the meanwhile, we'll try to put more stuff on this page to keep you entertained while we're off the air.
We will be back on the air this weekend (12/5) after a one-weekend hiatus when Nitsudge and I flew back to our home planet to visit the ole' family over the holidays. Due to TCI upgrading some areas' cable and slacking off in others, you might have to surf on over to channel 46 now to see us. This may be our last show of the year, SO GET OFF YOUR LAZY REAR AND WATCH!!!
We had such a great time broadcasting from our spaceship last weekend, that we are going to keep on doing just that! We should be on the air this Saturday (11/21) since no preemptions are imminent. I (Kered) am feeling better now that the BF3000 has been expelled from my body (I think...). If you missed the last show, our robotic friend went haywire and transferred its newfound consciousness into me, thus transforming me into a cybernetic nightmare called Blaster. He was all set to self-destruct at the end of the show, but thankfully (since I didn't really feel like getting turned into molten pulp) all was not lost as I fought him off right before our show ended, saving humankind (lucky you) from a cataclysmic explosion. (You see, the isotopes in our ship's reactor would have made quite the pretty dent in this rock you call home.)
 AAH!!! The BF3000 goes berserk, takes over Kered's body, and becomes Blaster! |
 Another shot of Blaster, sans helmet |
11/11/98:
Note: The Aliens Strike Back this weekend! Our first show in five weeks is THIS WEEKEND!!! After being preempted for four consecutive weekends, we will be back on the air. Expect an all-out visual attack this Saturday (11/14) as we broadcast straight from our spaceship! We've been having problems with the BF3000 lately, but he should be fixed up in time for the show. (Did I just hear someone say "foreshadowing"???)
We are ONCE AGAIN getting preempted this weekend thanks to more annoying coverage of that pesky human John Glenn. Being the technical imcompetent boobs that Nitsudge and I are (just watch any of our shows), we are too stupid to pirate back the cable waves. Imagine that: the man from earth in space preempting the men from space on earth... Keep an eye out for us the following weekend.
The interior of our ship